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She runs her fingers through her hair
Her ragged gasps pollute the air
Gone is the poise, the queenly grace
She's caught up in a primal chase.

Her husband's close behind her still
His heart is hungry for a kill
His wife's betrayal tore his soul
And caused him to lose all control.

She stumbles on the cobbled floor
Steadies herself upon the door
Her bare feet throb with bruise and cut
She slams the door, and bars it shut.

The tears stream freely down her cheeks
Tattooing them with ugly streaks
She hears her husband rage and shout
He can't get in – she can't get out.

An hour passes, more or less
Her heart slows in her heaving chest
Behind the door, silence lies thick
Should she go out? Is it a trick?

After a while, she dries her eyes
Hauls herself up on burning thighs
Unbars the door, and risks a peek
...
The room rings with a piercing shriek

Her husband, that once gentle Lord
Has thrown himself upon his sword
The blood flows freely from his chest
She screams, he smiles – he goes to rest.
©2008-2009 =Francine1991
:iconfrancine1991:

Author's Comments

An entry for the Literati :iconthe-literati: challenge – hope this is what you were after!

I'm afraid I've fallen once more for the hypnotising charms of the rhyming couplet... :noes: I can't help it, I just prefer it for narrative! so don't bother commenting on that, I know it's cliché!

INSPIRED BY: [link]

Critiques


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Comments


love 1 1 joy 2 2 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconhalfajack:
Brilliant work. Your use of rhythm and rhyme is very effective. Good luck to you.

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[link] - Into the Dark
:iconfrancine1991:
:) Thank you very much.

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...and you can consider that the end of the matter.
:iconmoonfacedesigns:
Nice poem. I like how it all rhymes while still telling an interesting story/event. :)

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Gallery: [link]
Website: [link]
:iconfrancine1991:
Cheers. :)

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...and you can consider that the end of the matter.
:iconradioactivesamurai:
Holy shit. That is really awesome! I wish I could tell you something to help you because of the Advanced Critique Encouraged, but there is nothing I would have done to this poem.

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Living to smile, and not to succeed; smiling to inspire happiness, not to give the illusion you are happy; creativity and music to inspire smiling, which in turn inspires happiness; being nice to be happy, not for being perceived a good person.
:iconfrancine1991:
:) lol thank you very much

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...and you can consider that the end of the matter.
:iconchocokitten:
Sad. Very well written. Who cares if it is cliche ^_^

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"Clear and sweet is my soul, and clear and sweet is all
that is not my soul." - Walt Whitman
:iconfrancine1991:
:) Lol precisely! Thank you very much.

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...and you can consider that the end of the matter.
:iconoxygenwaster201:
the words fit in really well, no cheezy rhymes, nice work1... its a 1 instead of an exclamation point...

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If this disturbs you then walk away
:iconfrancine1991:
:lol: thank you

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...and you can consider that the end of the matter.

Details

April 9, 2008
1.3 KB

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