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white by ~Francine1991:iconFrancine1991:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


Smoke tendrils curl past half-closed eyes;
A death-stick gripped in shaking hands
Is sucked like it will give her life
(it might)
Blurred by the orange light,
White legs drawn up to feel her heart
(keep beating, let me know i'm living)
Curled-up glow-worm on the sill
Distant siren, whispering shrill.
Upon her hip, a flash of red
Blood there from somewhere, who knows where
(i should remember, i should care)
No sombre words, no bitter tears
Desert-ducts and deafened ears.
©2009 ~Francine1991
:iconfrancine1991:

Author's Comments

Don't like it, just needed to write something.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconwhydoidothiseveryday:
~whydoidothiseveryday May 8, 2009, 9:49:53 AM
amazing imagery

--
You can't always get what you want.
:iconalmalobana:
~almalobana May 8, 2009, 3:21:46 PM
The metre is particularly strong, and very well done, from the line Curled up glow-worm on the sill

As has already been said, the imagery is very strong, and I love the use of brackets.

--
Spark Bright Free Webzine, open for submissions now [link]
:iconriencuran:
~riencuran Jul 31, 2009, 10:35:01 AM
I really like parentheses in contemporary poetry. Nicely written, even if you don't like it :) Always a pleasure to read your work.

--
A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
-Kurt Vonnegut
:iconreddaverocker:
*reddaverocker Aug 28, 2009, 2:28:26 PM
I like this, it's pretty. Wonderful imagery and the kind of raw dislocation and pain that is very difficult to get right.

Good show.

--
'I'm a bad thing that happens to good people.'

She smiled at me, and in the candlelight she looked at once completely insane and the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

'I know what you are. You're a villain.'

I never saw her again.
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